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  • 8 Things I know – Pass it on

    June
    11
    2007

    8 thingsShelly at This Eclectic Life is a Red Headed Texan with quite a vivid imagination; she seems to think I have 8 valuable tidbits of knowledge that I should pass along to you. Let me share a little secret with you – I’ve been trying to figure out what exactly those 8 things are since yesterday morning. Now there’s a scary thought.

    Shelly is a smart woman. She definitely knows 8 very important things, and then some. So go read hers, and then click away to another blog, because if you come back here, I’ll be as pale as an Irish Lass on Venice Beach in late July.

    I told her I’d give it a shot though – so I may have to give the whole serious deliberation a rest and go with a few of the more whimsical thoughts that came to mind when I started thinking this through. Without further procrastination adieu, here goes:

    1. Don’t hold your potty while you’re running to the bathroom. It really doesn’t hold anything in. If you gotta go, you gotta go, and nothing is going to stop that. You may as well forego looking like a total dork who waited too long on your way to wet your pants. If you have a bladder control problem, that’s what Depends are for.
    2. Don’t flick your boogers. You never know who they’re going to land on. It’s better to just eat them, or wipe them on your spouses pant leg.
    3. A latte a day keeps the sleepies away. Just be sure you’ve got a double or triple shot of espresso.
    4. Don’t take too many photos of the same dang thing. No one really wants to see a house sparrow blink in slow motion. There are some exceptions to this one, squirrels, for example. You can’t have too many photos of squirrels.
    5. Don’t wear clothes that are too small. Have a look in the mirror. If your junk is hanging out of your trunk, change your clothes. If you think there’s a little bump, it’s really 10x the size of how you see it to the general population. Hide it. Duct tape it. Do whatever you gotta do, but don’t let it hang all out there and don’t walk around thinking you’re hot stuff when really, you look like a bratwurst on the grill bursting out of the slit in the skin. Oh, yes, and if they’re too big and falling down around your buttcrack, buy a belt. The whole “look who we’ve got our Hanes on now” is just a commercial. Don’t take it too seriously – we really don’t all care to know.
    6. Stop and smell the roses. Once a day, find a flower and stick your nose in it. Breathe in. Deeply. (Note: check for bees first. – thanks for pointing that out, Shelly. I can only imagine the lawsuits I would have had to deal with on that one.)
    7. Count your friends. Because some day, your kids are going to ask “How many friends do you have, mommy?” And if you can’t answer that, they’ll make fun of you. Then they’ll tell you that you really only have one friend, and then you’ll feel like a big loser.
    8. Laugh. And then laugh some more. Because laughter really is the best medicine, and it’s also funny when your parrot starts mocking you and laughing back in your own laugh. Then you get to find out how stupid your laugh really sounds, and you can practice a new laugh in front of the mirror – out of earshot of the parrot, of course.

    There you have it. I hope you find my list invaluable, and that you must bookmark it so that you are less likely to forget anything. Send it to your friends, because some people just don’t even know any of this stuff yet, and you could save them the trouble of having to figure it out all by themselves.

    I’m not tagging anyone, but please let me know if you want to take this on and share your wisdom with the blogosphere. I’ll link you up and send people to you, and then Google will love you just as much as I do.

    {15 Comments}

    1
    taba said,

    :rofl: thank you! i needed this today! :thanku:

    6.11.2007 @ 9:33 am
    2
    Leanne said,

    That’s what one friend is for! :friends:

    6.11.2007 @ 9:44 am
    3

    BWAHAHAH! Funnier than a rubber crutch, as we used to say when we were not PC. But, a word from a wise woman: when you stick your nose in the flower, make sure there are no bees in it! Great post…you want to enter it in the contest?

    6.11.2007 @ 9:52 am
    4
    Leanne said,

    Hey, if it blows your dress up, please do throw me in the pot!

    :giggle:

    6.11.2007 @ 9:56 am
    5

    It blows my dress up, but I gave the judging to Jen! I’ll enter it for you, and you don’t even have to mail me! I’ll just add the url for the contest here.
    There you go! This really is hilarious.

    6.11.2007 @ 10:02 am
    6

    […] Artist By Nature added 8 Things I Know–Pass It On […]

    6.11.2007 @ 10:04 am
    7
    Laura said,

    oh of course, I have thousands of squirrel pictures.. LOL..
    uh huh.. uh huh!

    (See, the reason I really don’t have any is because they’re all at your house….)

    #5, so true!! and the older we get, comfort tends to rule! LOL I do like to look nice tho, but the days of squeezing into a tight pair of jeans dont appeal to me any longer.

    Great list! I was tagged by Interstellar Lass, so I’ll put up my list soon.

    6.11.2007 @ 10:33 am
    8
    Friglet said,

    Can I get an “Amen” on number 5! Thanks for the laugh this morning. 🙂

    6.11.2007 @ 11:12 am
    9
    Nancy said,

    LOL! Too funny…. I take a zillion pictures of the same thing especially kids and animals they don’t sit still like flowers.

    My advice: don’t visit family. They are all crazy. Having just come back from a family weekend! Extended family that is. There is a reason I live four hours away. 😉

    LOL! All i want now is a nap! :lazy:

    6.11.2007 @ 11:22 am
    10
    Angel said,

    Here are mine
    http://headacheslayer.blogspot.com/2007/06/8-very-important-things.html

    Thank you, Leanne, this was very relaxing and refreshing to participate in :friends:

    6.11.2007 @ 1:43 pm
    11

    That Booger one is wise, indeed. Thank you.

    6.11.2007 @ 2:15 pm
    12

    What a fun list!!! Great booger advice, by the way!!! (hey, we all need a reminder sometimes!) LOL

    I have “Laugh” on mine, too……sooooo important!!!

    Have a great day!
    Jessica The Rock Chick

    6.12.2007 @ 8:32 am
    13
    kailani said,

    OMG! 😯 My sister and I were just teasing, I mean commenting, on this girl’s clothes today. It was about 3 sizes to small and so short that I don’t think she could have bent over without flashing everyone!

    6.12.2007 @ 11:30 pm
    14

    Very sage advice, indeed! And you thought you didn’t have anything!!

    6.14.2007 @ 11:20 pm
    15
    Amanda said,

    I found these through Angel. You’re linked through my blog entry on them as well.

    I think I got a tiny bit ranty in mine. Language might be involved. Read at your own risk 🙂

    6.16.2007 @ 4:33 pm

    Sorry, comments are now closed.


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