Comments on: Death of a Friendship

By: Leanne

Leanne — Fri, 27 May 2011 00:23:44 +0000

Sorry, Susie. One thing is certain – at the end of the friendship neither see things the other way. You only see it their way after time heals those wounds.

By: Susie

Susie — Thu, 26 May 2011 23:12:30 +0000

To give an update to my situation E sent me a very ugly e-mail denying she fired me, taking some cheap shots at me, saying some nasty things. If E really wanted this to be over with she could have refrained from responding. It sucks that she is acting like this is all my fault. I sent her an e-mail trying to clarify some things. If I do not hear back from her I am not trying again. I didn’t deserve to be treated like this.I feel that E is trying to blame everything on me. I do not want to talk to her because I think that E would twist things around or even hang up on me or put words in my mouth. This sucks.

By: Susie

Susie — Thu, 26 May 2011 18:13:47 +0000

You know I think I am angry at myself too~ that again I showed her how much I cared and opened my heart and this happened. What gets to me most is that E had the nerve to make it seem like what happened was my fault in that e-mail she sent. E was very callous and cruel. It will take time to get over this. But I also know that underneath the anger is a lot of hurt too. The interesting thing is looking back whenever things were good between us she would push me away~ like she was trying to sabotage things. Regardless I will never let myself be hurt and used by her again. I can’t. My goal is to get to the point were God can sort this out. But I am not there yet.

By: Leanne

Leanne — Thu, 26 May 2011 11:34:24 +0000

Susie aka Grace,

I am so sad to hear this. I understand that there is a lot of hurt going on in your heart but to let it turn into anger is such a sad thing to see. I don’t understand why you would be so hateful after re-reading your other comments. You had tried so hard to show her you cared and what she meant to you, and no matter what her response, I really feel like you should have just let it go, and let God. When we take it into our own hands is when we mess it all up.

Hope things get better for you.

By: Susie

Susie — Wed, 25 May 2011 23:20:48 +0000

I would like to share the ending of my friendship story with E as I have commented here before.
For the last ten weeks I had worked for E. For anyone that is interested in the backstory read my previous posts under “Grace”. I was laid off from a part time job that I had and I wanted to work and also hoped to learn from her since she is a graphic designer. So for the last ten weeks I updated her business facebook page, blog, did errands, and resolved a health insurance issue that got her a 500.00 dollar reimbursement check for a colonoscopy she had.
Last week when I came into get my check she fired me by telling me to have a nice life and I said she just cared about herself, and I told her she was going to be sad and lonely. No thank you for the work that I did. Only the day before she was showing me things in the office. it was real nice. On Mother’s Day E and I did a charity walk together for cancer and I took her out for coffee. E knew that I was struggling and I even told that I wanted a mentor and friend and a job. I was so hurt that I wrote a note saying how badly I felt with a list of my property she had and slipped the note and a pic of us at Moms On the Run under the door. I finally heard from her by e-mail yesterday in which she blamed everything on me and was just basically a s***. E told me that I could come get my stuff and that it was outside of her office door. E had a library book that was mine and she denied having it but to “be nice” she wrote a check for 50.00 and put it with my things. I thought at this point I do not need her charity if she is such an ugly person who is a witch. So I shoved the check under her office door with a post it note saying, ” After that e-mail I do not want your money”. So I take pride in being the only person ever to have worked for her to have returned a check! I do have to pay for the book but it is not that much money. So on my way out E had a white Jaguar so I spit her door handle, windshield, and driver’s side window, and gave her car a good swift kick on the driver’s side. No lasting damage just my footprint. Yes, I could have taken the money and given it to a charity or even kept it but after she treated me that way it felt so wrong. Was I only worth 50.00 dollars to her? It is like she was trying to buy me off and justify doing what she did. So I have to content myself with the hope that God is a God of justice and what goes around comes around.

By: Susie

Susie — Wed, 25 May 2011 23:07:56 +0000

Dear Sophie,
I am so sorry that you experienced this. This woman was no “friend”. She sounds like a two faced witch who is really selfish. You deserve better. There are better people out there who will be your friend. Consider this- If she has done it to you then she may very well have treated other people like this as well and may do the same thing to your “replacement”. This woman may be unable for whatever reason to sustain a close relationship for the long haul. There are so many people out there who will be your friend. Don’t let one bad apple spoil it for you. Don’t let this woman by you putting your guard up and never trusting again.
Here are some things to do to feel better- make a list of all your good qualities, and then make a list of all the things she did that pissed you off. Do things you enjoy doing and realize that she lost out on a great friend. Also, karma has a funny way of catching up with people. What goes around comes around. This is her loss.

Sincerely,

Susie

By: Sophie

Sophie — Wed, 25 May 2011 15:44:36 +0000

I have just lost the person I thought was my very “best friend”. She lied, insulted me and then betrayed me. Wow, it hurts so much I feel my heart has broken. How can people do this to other people? She has now replaced me with someone else but I still think of her every day. It makes me feel so sad. We shared so many happy moments. I wonder if she thinks of me too but she says “No” she has other friends now and doesn’t need me anymore. I feel so alone and your words helped as I can see this happens to so many people. I mentioned once about a friend I lost touch with and she said that must have hurt but no-one ever hurt me like she did. I don’t think I will ever trust anyone again.

By: Sheena

Sheena — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 19:42:59 +0000

I had always been a welcome guest at my best friend’s birthday parties, dinner parties, Superbowl parties, etc. All that ended the day I told her I was getting a divorce. She told me how sorry she was, asked if there was anything she could do for me — then never again invited me into her home. I was suddenly persona non grata. It was painful and shocking, but it did make me cherish and thank God for the friends who stood beside me during this darkest chapter in my life. They remain my friends to this day. And my other friend? I have no idea and don’t much care anymore. There is nothing like a divorce to show you who your real friends are!!

By: Old Mom

Old Mom — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 17:49:56 +0000

Post #31 sounds like what happened to me. My husband and I were close friends with another couple. We often went to dinner and the movies together. Beth (not her real name) and I babysat for each other, took our children to the park, went to garage sales, and talked on the phone several times a week. When my husband and I separated, all that stopped. Overnight, Beth disappeared from my life. At first, I was too heartsick to care. Then I was hurt and angry. I had reached out to Beth when her father died unexpectedly. I gave her rides when her car broke down. I listened to her ongoing complaints about her in-laws. Where was she when I needed a friend? Why hadn’t she reached out to me?

A year later, I ran into her at the grocery store. It was very awkward. I was still mad, and it showed. She apologized for not calling me, claiming she “didn’t know what to say.” I replied that she could have started with “Hi, how are you?”

We tentatively became friends again, but it wasn’t the same. It was obvious (and laughable) that Beth didn’t want me around her husband anymore, because she only invited me to her house when he wasn’t there.

A few years later, Beth and her family moved away. We exchanged emails for a while, but soon ran out of things to say. She never replied to my email about my mother’s death. That was 11 years ago.

I recently found a box of old pictures I’d forgotten about. There were the four of us again, much younger and skinnier! Beth and I had the big hair and shoulder pads of the 1980′s. There was a picture of our children in a wading pool; how well I remember the day it was taken. The pictures brought back so many happy memories. I wish Beth and I could have remained “best friends forever.” I still miss her.