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  • Dr. Demento!

    August
    3
    2005

    I was up at 6’ish this morning, thinking I was going to have a productive couple of hours before the girls got up. Boy was I right! (Only it wasn’t the same productivity I thought it was going to be..hehe!)

    Just a few minutes after I got my coffee, I started chatting with a friend and she was telling me about an event in her life that somehow brought to mind a song from the past, and I wonder if you remember The Homecoming Queen’s Got a Gun? Well just in case my typing that has you singing even just a little bit, here are the lyrics – because I know you don’t remember the lyrics! And the CD, with other twisted tunes from the past? Well it’s at WalMart, of course, and I’ll be ordering it and humming Fish Heads for a while too. Oh and maybe by the end of the day, they’ll be Coming To Take Me Away..Ha-Haaa!

    Thanks a lot, Lisa!!! 😆

    “It was Homecoming Night at my high school
    Everyone was there, it was totally cool
    I was real excited, I almost wet my jeans
    ‘Cause my best friend Debbie was Homecoming Queen
    She looked so pretty in pink chiffon. (Chiffon)
    Riding the float with her tiara on. (Tiara on)
    Holding this humongous bouquet in her hand. (Bouquet)
    She looked straight out of Disneyland!
    You know that Cinderella ride
    I mean definitely an E-ticket. (E-ticket)
    The crowd was cheering, everyone was stoked
    I mean it was like the whole school was totally coked or something.
    The band was playing ‘Evergreen’
    Then all of a sudden, somebody screamed:
    Look out! The Homecoming Queen’s got a GUN!!!

    Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen’s got a gun!
    Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen has got a gun!
    Debbie’s smiling, and waving her gun
    Picking off cheerleaders one by one
    Oh! Buffy’s pom poms just blew to bits
    Oh no, Misty’s head just did the splits!
    My best friend is on a shooting spree
    Stop it, Debbie, you’re embarrassing me!
    How could you do what you just did
    Are you having a really bad period?

    Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen’s got a gun!
    Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen has got a gun!
    Stop it, Debbie, you’re making a mess
    Powder burns all over your dress
    An hour later, ,the cops had arrived
    By then the entire glee club had died – no big loss
    You wouldn’t believe what they brought to stop her
    Tear gas, machine guns… even a chopper!
    Throw down your gun and tiara and come out of that float!
    Debbie didn’t listen to what the cop said,
    She aimed and fired, and now the math teacher’s dead!
    Oh, it’s really sad, but kinda of a relief,
    I mean we had this big test coming up next week…

    Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen’s got a gun!
    Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen has got a gun!
    Debbie’s really having a blast!
    She’s wasting half of the class!
    The cops fired a warning shot that blew her off that float.
    I tried to scream Duck! but it stuck in my throat.
    She hit the ground and did a flip; it was real acrobatic.
    But I was crying so hard, I couldn’t work my Instamatic.
    I ran down to Debbie, I had to find out.
    What made her do it, why’d she freak out?
    I saw the bullet had got her right in the ear.
    I knew then… the end was near.

    So I ran down and said in her good ear.
    Debbie, why’d you do it?
    She raised her head and smiled and said.
    I did it for Johnny.
    Johnny, well like who’s Johnny? Answer me Debbie who’s Johnny.
    Does anybody here know a Johnny?
    Are you Johnny? There was one guy named Johnny.
    But he was a total geek. He always had food in his braces.
    Answer me Debbie who’s Johnny.
    Oh God this is like that movie Citizen Kane
    You know where you later find out Rosebud was a sled
    But we’ll never know who Johnny is because like she’s dead

    Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen’s got a gun!
    Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen has got a
    Everybody run
    Everybody run the Homecoming Queen’s got a”

    Okay, now I’m going to go be productive!

    {2 Comments}

    1
    mom said,

    I remember “The Funny Farm”!!! I used to sing that all the time… they’re coming to take me away, ha,ha, they’re coming to take me away, ho, ho.. to the Funny Farm where life is beautiful all day long….. Still works for me!
    mom

    8.3.2005 @ 9:08 am
    2
    Lisa said,

    Glad I could stick those tunes in your head for the day :p

    BTW?

    Dead Puppies?

    They are no fun!

    8.3.2005 @ 2:18 pm

    Sorry, comments are now closed.


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