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  • Behold the turtle.
    He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.
  • If It’s Not About You, It’s Gossip.

    June
    9
    2009

    Leanne and her peoniesI’ve recently had the (cough) privilege (cough) of being informed that “it’s not all about me, despite what I may think.” And quite honestly (that was another trigger phrase used in the information packet I received) I have a few things to say about that.

    Imagine that.

    I’m sure I’m not the only one who has ever heard this delicious little tidbit of news. But you know something? Those words are meant to puncture, they are meant to hurt – and above all else, they are WRONG.

    If it isn’t about me, it’s gossip. It’s hearsay; conjecture. It’s not accurate information.

    Think about it. If you have a blog, it’s all about you. It’s your blog – your space. Your opinion, your writing. We say things people can relate to, we say things others can benefit from. Some of us even use it as a means to DO things for other people. If people read it, if people come, then we assume they are interested. And we develop friendships.

    If you have a Twitter account or a Facebook page, it’s all about you. If it’s not – what the heck is it? If you’re putting a bunch of stuff out there that isn’t about you, then all it is is your opinion, and you’d be am informant, or news reporter or somethin’.

    If we’re having a chat and you’re talking, if you’re not helping me or offering me advice (YOUR opinion), you’re talking about you. If you’re talking about other people, excluding the people in the conversation, that is called GOSSIP. If you’re sharing information or news about your family, that’s you, with a touch of gossip (depending on the topic and/or person).

    Why do we do this? Because we’re human, that’s why. We share. Well, okay, most of us share. And we share with the (obviously, in this case, idiotic) assumption that the other person is actually interested. And then we pause, and we wait for the other person to have their turn. And then, typically, we share our feelings, thoughts and ideas of what the other person has shared. THAT, people, is called friendship aka communication.

    Insane, isn’t it?

    The information you have about yourself is the only information you really have that is factual. The rest is perception, interpretation. So when you’re in the middle of sharing your feelings with someone, those words are as true as true gets. To imply to someone that what they’re sharing with you is arrogant and self-centered is just … wrong. On so many levels.

    So the next time you share your feelings with someone and they turn around and tell you “it’s not all about you”, you just buck up and explain how “yes, indeed it IS about me.” And be okay with that. And also? Be okay with never sharing yourself with that person again, because they obviously don’t appreciate you as a person, or respect your feelings.

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    {19 Comments}

    1
    june said,

    I have to say I agree 100%

    6.9.2009 @ 8:46 am
    2
    Leanne said,

    I’m glad, June. Sometimes, when you go that deep, you feel like you’re drowning.

    :friends:

    6.9.2009 @ 9:04 am
    3
    Linda said,

    I love it! That was a very good response to someone who must have had the nerve to say such a thing in the first place. I find some people are just simply jealous of someone who is enjoying life when they are not. I say to those people, just please get off my happy train at the next stop while I continue my journey in peace.

    6.9.2009 @ 10:01 am
    4

    You go girl!!!

    Of course it’s all about me… isn’t it?

    As for perception and interpretation – that’s all about me, too… right?

    :friends:
    xo
    LBC

    6.9.2009 @ 10:07 am
    5
    Nicky Bird said,

    Very well put Leanne :friends:

    6.9.2009 @ 10:08 am
    6
    Renee said,

    Amen! :iloveu:

    6.9.2009 @ 10:45 am
    7
    Karen M. said,

    One (of many) thoughts that come to mind………

    Anyone who says it’s ‘ALL’ about ‘LEANNE’ apparently hasn’t noticed that she is giving away ‘FREE’ a one of a kind custom portrait every single week – she takes her time and talent to compose for those who only have to come and enter.

    I say……Let it be ALL about people like that! Kind and generous!

    6.9.2009 @ 12:03 pm
    8
    Angie said,

    Well said. Whomever said that to you will someday find themselves very lonely.

    6.9.2009 @ 2:09 pm
    9
    Sue said,

    I hope someone is not giving you a bad time! Shame on them.. guess they dont know you very well do they?

    6.9.2009 @ 3:34 pm
    10
    Becky said,

    Oh. My. Gosh.

    Who dared to cross you??? Seriously, do they know who they’re messin’ with?

    Duh, people.

    Hee, hee, hee. Don’t you let anyone get you down Leanne. Maybe they were just having an off day and they needed a little extra loving today, Leanne style.

    6.9.2009 @ 4:03 pm
    11
    Paige said,

    Well said, Leanne! I love Linda’s words, “just please get off my happy train at the next stop while I continue my journey in peace.”

    It makes you think that some people get stuck waiting at the train stations in life and don’t move forward. Those are the very people that tend to say the hurtful words to those that ARE able to move on trying to better their situations in life.

    {{HUGS}}

    6.9.2009 @ 5:16 pm
    12
    Leanne said,

    You guys are the best! Just when I think it’s time to call a therapist, you all show up and make me feel normal. LOL!

    :grouphug:

    6.9.2009 @ 7:47 pm
    13
    Da Goddess said,

    Amen!

    You know what? There is a time and a place to just listen to someone and let things be all about them. But when they ask for your opinion or advice, if they don’t like it, they don’t have to take it. But if they turn on you…guess what? You won’t be there for them in the future.

    Don’t let anyone push you around or make you feel as if you’re wrong because you dared speak your mind.

    I’m going all in and declaring you a friend we’d all want to have living next door to us. Don’t let one person ruin your day. You’re too precious to us.

    6.9.2009 @ 9:32 pm
    14
    Usedtobeme said,

    Excellent! I couldn’t have said it better myself. :clapping: :thanku: :clapping: :iloveu:

    PS you have the best smileys!

    6.9.2009 @ 10:15 pm
    15
    Debra Argus said,

    OMG Leanne, how dare someone put you down like that, I love the way you have responded lol, If I may use that one day I will save it. If its not about you then who is about, maybe this person likes it to be about them ALL of the time, I have a friend who is like that, if it is not about her then she “dont wanna know” lol. needless to say I groan every time she pulls up in the driveway for a visit, she usually has no money to buy cigatrettes or a couple of drinks, so she comes to see me on those occasions. (Groan) but I have the good grace to accept her as she is, I know I would not like to be in her situation, and would love to think that she would do the same for me one day, (One can always hope) Cheers.

    Debra (Australia)

    6.10.2009 @ 1:28 am
    16
    Kimberly said,

    Good words indeed.

    And now I’m want to know who you just verbally bitch slapped :dance:

    6.10.2009 @ 5:48 am
    17
    Sarcasmom said,

    So well said. Leanne, I can’t believe anyone said that to you, of all people. You have a very generous spirit. Most likely they said what they said because they really wanted it to be all about them One good thing about blogging. When you come up with what you wish you had said at the time, you still can.

    6.10.2009 @ 6:20 am
    18
    Leanne said,

    I know that I am not the subject of every conversation. I know (that person) is wrong, but I also think (that person) was telling me a fact, in a way, that it’s all about them. kwim?

    I thought, going into it, that it was about us both, because I was trying to salvage a relationship that just has not been healthy. This reply was very true to form.

    I thought (because it’s all about me) that others could benefit from my insight – we as emotional creatures get so offended at that remark. SO OFFENDED. Like we’re self centered, or something. It IS an insult. So instead of shoving all of these emotions into my baggage, I wanted to share it, to help others who are so rudely cut off with that statement – to let the people who have USED that line see how damaging it is.

    I hope, that by sharing an insight that maybe people hadn’t thought of before (because once my mind goes on a tangent, I can’t make it stop), maybe it could benefit more than just me. At the very least, relate, and offer insight. And it appears I have struck a chord.

    For that, I’m glad I wrote this post, that was all about me.

    Funny how that all worked out, huh?

    6.10.2009 @ 8:02 am
    19
    Clara said,

    I’ll drink a glass of wine to that! Cheers!

    6.10.2009 @ 5:15 pm

    Sorry, comments are now closed.


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