I’ve recently had the (cough) privilege (cough) of being informed that “it’s not all about me, despite what I may think.” And quite honestly (that was another trigger phrase used in the information packet I received) I have a few things to say about that.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who has ever heard this delicious little tidbit of news. But you know something? Those words are meant to puncture, they are meant to hurt – and above all else, they are WRONG.
If it isn’t about me, it’s gossip. It’s hearsay; conjecture. It’s not accurate information.
Think about it. If you have a blog, it’s all about you. It’s your blog – your space. Your opinion, your writing. We say things people can relate to, we say things others can benefit from. Some of us even use it as a means to DO things for other people. If people read it, if people come, then we assume they are interested. And we develop friendships.
If you have a Twitter account or a Facebook page, it’s all about you. If it’s not – what the heck is it? If you’re putting a bunch of stuff out there that isn’t about you, then all it is is your opinion, and you’d be am informant, or news reporter or somethin’.
If we’re having a chat and you’re talking, if you’re not helping me or offering me advice (YOUR opinion), you’re talking about you. If you’re talking about other people, excluding the people in the conversation, that is called GOSSIP. If you’re sharing information or news about your family, that’s you, with a touch of gossip (depending on the topic and/or person).
Why do we do this? Because we’re human, that’s why. We share. Well, okay, most of us share. And we share with the (obviously, in this case, idiotic) assumption that the other person is actually interested. And then we pause, and we wait for the other person to have their turn. And then, typically, we share our feelings, thoughts and ideas of what the other person has shared. THAT, people, is called friendship aka communication.
Insane, isn’t it?
The information you have about yourself is the only information you really have that is factual. The rest is perception, interpretation. So when you’re in the middle of sharing your feelings with someone, those words are as true as true gets. To imply to someone that what they’re sharing with you is arrogant and self-centered is just … wrong. On so many levels.
So the next time you share your feelings with someone and they turn around and tell you “it’s not all about you”, you just buck up and explain how “yes, indeed it IS about me.” And be okay with that. And also? Be okay with never sharing yourself with that person again, because they obviously don’t appreciate you as a person, or respect your feelings.