Comments on: The Downfall of a 22 Year Marriage

By: Julie Pruitt

Julie Pruitt — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 09:03:45 +0000

Hi Leanne,

I’m just a stranger who happened upon your blog but I think I was meant to because your words really touched me. You reminded me life’s too short and I can see where I need to correct some of my own behavior.

You are a gifted writer! I even liked these phrases you wrote so much, I made note of them to “quote” you! 🙂

“33. I believe that if you’re going to make a friend, it should be a lifelong friend.”- I agree!

“Wives don’t get to know the things that really go on – unless the husbands decide to tell them. Otherwise, we just fill in the blanks as best we can.” -So true

Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you the best.
Julsie

By: Diana Cairns

Diana Cairns — Sun, 06 May 2012 17:01:36 +0000

Hi Leanne
I landed up reading your story quite by chance, and I identify so clearly with your “fight” for your marriage.
I also ended up losing the “fight” after 36 years and I needed to read about your journey to remind me of what I went through. I also had to deal with military PTSD and I have no advice to offer you because healing is taking me a long, long time. I can only tell you that your art is awesome so hold onto it as proof that you are gifted and special.
Wishing you peace and happiness
Diana

By: Da Goddess

Da Goddess — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 08:50:01 +0000

Sent you an email. Just read this…my heart hurts for you, hon. :hug:

Call me or email or text…I’m here for you. Also, I have a shovel if necessary

By: Lifecruiser

Lifecruiser — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 21:46:36 +0000

Oh… how sad to read this. There is no proper words, but still I want to say something… Always so sad when couples are drifting apart. My heart goes out to you. I know the feeling just too well. My former relationship lasted from I was in the age 16 to I was 44… Back and forward in feelings, just like yours until it finally was no love left. Though there were no one else involved and it was me that finally broke up, it still was very hard after all those years. It’s always so easy to say afterward that there were signs. *sigh* (Now I’m very happy that it ended though, because I’d never have met the biggest love in my life otherwise!)

I also know what PTSD can do with a person – I grew up with a father with PTSD… (yes, from war experiences too)

You go girl! I’m sure there are new happiness out there waiting for you!

((Hugz))

PS. This post is so awesome written – are you sure you don’t want to write a book…?

By: Jane Lathem

Jane Lathem — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 19:48:50 +0000

Leanne, this must have been a difficult post but I am sure there are those who will find hope in your words and will see that they are not alone.
Thank you for trusting your readers with your story. Your are in my prayers as your family works through this. God IS your refuge and strength…..lean on Him!!!

By: Lisa

Lisa — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 11:43:03 +0000

Leanne,

Everything you went through at the beginning of the relationship…it was like reading my own words (minus the military). I stayed with him from the age of 15, and was treated horribly. My friends/family didn’t get WHY I continued to be humiliated and treated so awful while others were interested in me. We eventually married when I thought he changed….but within 3 years, he left me for another woman when I was 7 months pregnant with our second child. I was completely devastated. If it wasn’t for my oldest daughter, I probably would have ended my life.

I too fought and fought for the marriage. He was a guy who grew up with a neglectful, selfish, manipulative mom and a dad who died in front of him at the mere age of 11. No counseling, mom told him to just sweep it under the rug and forget about it. I could see that scared, grieving boy under all that hostility and anger and insecurity. He just needed me to love him MORE, I thought. Looking back, I don’t know how much MORE I could have done.

We had another child, and he left me again for a different woman. At this point, I had contacted a lawyer and knew the best thing to do was divorce. Suddenly? He started changing. This time, though, he sensed the difference in me, and knew the door wasn’t always open for him. He wound up in the psych ward, and in counseling. All the things that I knew were wrong – using women to make himself feel better; changing people, places and things and drinking instead of dealing with his issues….were confirmed.

The rest of the story…3 more kids, and really, he’s the husband that I knew he could be.

However…..you hit the nail on the head when you said to get it all out – don’t just try to keep the peace. I still have so much resentment that seems to grow every year. While he got all of HIS “stuff” out….I set myself to the side and concentrated on him, diapers, feedings in the middle of the night, getting thru days with 3-5 hours of interrupted sleep. He came home to a clean house, dinner, smiles, and a whole night of sleep. There are days when I love him to pieces…and (too many) days when I wish I would have ended it in high school, or the first time he cheated, or the second time.

All that said, I soooo understand what you are going through. I am here if you need to talk. You sound like you are in a better place….like more accepting of the situation. For that, I admire you so much! You are STRONG, and I hope writing this post helped you. You deserve more. I see you beating yourself up, but one thing I want you to remember is that we REACT. You may feel like you were a monster, but you were reacting to what was going on. It’s human nature. And as time goes on, I hope you will see yourself as a good wife – the best wife ever! – and not the bad guy.

Since he hasn’t changed…he will (eventually) be the same exact way in this new relationship. The magic mistress who fixes the “neglected” husband only happens in the movies or books.

By: Tabatha Rhodes

Tabatha Rhodes — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 23:40:24 +0000

🙁

By: Carrie

Carrie — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 12:10:35 +0000

Every word I can think of seems trite and meaningless right now, but nonetheless, please know that I’m praying for you and your girls, that you will find comfort in the arms and hearts of your friends and family and in God.

By: Sheila Hudson

Sheila Hudson — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 06:19:30 +0000

Leanne, I just want you to know that I had a feeling years ago, when I sent you the book, Walking on Water. I prayed for you then because I just knew something was wrong. I am so very sorry that your marriage is over, I know it is very difficult. I also praise God that you are walking with Him and I know that you can heal and God will shelter you and the girls as well as Mark under his wing. I will be praying for you and the girls as you make a new life. Even when it’s the darkest and you can’t see or feel Jesus, he’s there. A seed has to sit in the dark compost (and you know what compost is made of?) before it can germinate and send a shoot up into the sunlight. Be patient and take one day, one hour and one minute at at time and eventually you’ll realize you are walking in the light again. There will be joy all along the way too, keep your eyes open for it, huh? Sending love and prayers your way, sweetie!
Sheila