Shelli said:

Alright. I’ll be the first to bite. Who was your first love? Was he a good kisser?

I’ve been thinking about this one since you asked, Shelli! I was really reaching far back, too. I thought about Doug, in 2nd grade, who I thought was the cutest thing ever. He had a chipped front tooth, bright blue eyes, and mussed up hair. I thought about Rob, the little freckle-faced redhead that chased me around the playground in grade school until he caught me. He tried to carry me around but I would always kick him hard in the shins until he put me down.

Then I moved on to middle school, where I encountered the boys from another town, namely Tim. Tim, ohhhhh Tim. He was blonde, big brown eyes, he had braces at the time. He was one of those “cool” kids. I had the biggest crush on him throughout all of middle school and high school, but he would never say anything more than “hi” to me in passing. Years later though, he did speak to me. In fact he seemed kinda interested in me, but it was during a really hard time in my life when alcohol was my only fluid intake, and it wasn’t long after I turned him away that he commited suicide. That broke my heart. I found out later all of the trouble he had been in since graduation and I wished I hadn’t turned him away, and I still wonder if my choice impacted his decision to end his life.

I digress.

I don’t remember any other boys in middle school, I was a nerd. High school, however, had me much more interested in the opposite sex.

First, I remember Kevin. I met Kevin as a freshman, he was a senior. He was big and buff and drove a hot red car! Whoowee! I loved hanging out with him, had fun at my first Homecoming with him, and hated that he went around and told everyone (including my brother, also a Senior) that I “gave it up”. Blech. Jerkhead.

My mind wandered from Kevin to a boy named Michael that I met while I worked at Old Country Buffet. Michael was a dishwasher, and he was just adorable. He had black hair, big brown eyes, a beautiful smile, and hm. He’s a fond memory! I really liked him, and we went for a walk one night just after dark. I remember the stars twinkling, there was a glow from a streetlight nearby, and he kissed me sweetly in the middle of the street. My heart fluttered, and I couldn’t get him out of my head for weeks. He quit working at OCB not long after that, and I never ran into him or heard from him again.

I obsessed over another boy, Rob, who I didn’t know well at all. He played football, he was really nice, but we didn’t even know eachother. He was a boy in the hallway that I thought was cute, and I wanted to get to know him – and I tried, but we never did hit it off. We passed notes, and I adored him, and that was it.

Greg. Greg was another dark haired beauty. He had braces and a football jersey, what more can I say? We passed notes, he winked at me and gave me a special grin, he had beautiful handwriting. He also smelled really nice, and gave me his jersey to wear on game days. I pink puffy hearted Greg! He kissed me under the tree in my front yard one night, but the braces were awkward and it was kinda messy. Then I found out how much he liked girls, because I was not the only girl he passed beautiful notes to, winked or smiled at. Boys.

Scott and Erik both fall in the “too good a friend to spoil it” category. Scott doted on me for a long time, he called me all the time, he walked a mile to my house just to hang out on the front porch. He was adorable and all I wanted was to be his friend, because I’m an idiot.

Erik was my best guy-friend. We tooled around in my car when I got my license, drove really fast down country roads to see if I could get my hunk-o-junk to go airborne. We ditched school together, we went fishing and got sunburned together, we played pictionary together. Erik, now Erik was husband material. He had potential, but Erik made one final, drastic mistake.

He introduced me to Mark.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, -I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! – and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Having to pick my one true love, I have to say it was Mark. It is Mark. Erik introduced us when I was just 18, and when I first met him I thought he was a big geek. heh.

It wasn’t long though before he woo’d and wow’d me, we got to know eachother and had some talks, you know, deep talks about nothing. Feeeeeelings. He kissed me, I melted. My brain just short circuited and I felt like someone just threw me in the wash on the spin cycle. I still feel that way when he kisses me. Two weeks after we met, I got up early for school, went and bought one single red rose, let myself into his townhose and left the rose on his pillow with a note that said something along the lines of “I think I’m going to end up marrying you”.

17 years later, he still makes me feel like my head is swirling and my heart pitter-patters. I’d say he’s my first, one and only and probably last true love.