Exhibit A: The fake smile pose. The talk about the natural smile, the begging for them to put away the fake smile (and the blue gum). Just be loving, and natural, I say.

Exhibit B: The loving, natural pose. Older sister gives younger sister a nice big squeeze, resulting in tears because “she squeezed me too hard and it hurrrrts”. Tears welling, hair mussed up, no one is happy. Now is the time (because I have the patience of a squirrel) for the please, please pleeeease cooperate RIGHT NOW talk.

Exhibit C: I can make her smile, mom! See? Ugh. She hated that, don’t ever do that to her again. Hands to yourself, please.

Exhibit D: I’m happy now! Peace out! Peace on Earth and stuff! Haha! I can count to two! Or I’m a hippie child! You decide!

Exhibit E: I’m falling off the stool, mom. Woaaahhh MOM! She pushed me!

Exhibit F: Giggling ensues, because now sissy is on the floor being dramatic about how everything in her body just broke. Thanks a LOT. Now is the time for the scoot your butt over a little bit so your sister can squeeze in right next to you talk. The coersion of being sisterly talk. The begging for it all to be over talk, because I can’t take one more second of all the drama, and all mommy REALLY wants for Christmas is a DECENT PICTURE OF HER BEAUTIFUL WELL BEHAVED CHILDREN. Really. That’s ALL. I. WANT.

And then, they did it. And they proved to me once again that even though for a half an hour they can drive me absolutely out of my gourd, in the end, they’re perfect little angels that you can’t help but love and want to squish and kiss and huggle and snuggle.

That concludes our portrait photography session. If you send your children to my house for Christmas portraits, please remember – no blue gum allowed.