I hate to be rude and call you out in public like this, and all… but….

LIAR!

Actually – I kid. That was a very special hug and one of my fav pics 🙂

I’m not a hugger either. When I used to work in Hospice – there was a nurse there that felt the need to hug everyone. It got to be so bad for me that I would physically avoid her AT ALL COSTS. Finally one day – – I was walking down the hallway… she was coming in the opposite direction…I could see her moving in for the hug….

I stopped DEAD in my tracks and looked right at her and said “Lynn, you’re a sweet person. You are a great nurse. I enjoy working with you. But I have to warn you right here and now…. if you touch me one more time, it will be YOU in the next available Hospice bed… get me?”

Ever since, we enjoyed a very pleasant working relationship and she never hugged me again.

When tact fails…. go for the homicidal approach. I find it works every time. :friends:

ok im :rofl: over here!!
you are so hilarious! yea i dont like hugs either. it’s too personal, it’s too invasive (unless it’s with the special people). maybe she’s becoming a special person to you. just keep an eye on how you are feeling and if you start wanting to hug strangers then i’d get that looked at. :raspberry:
im glad you didn’t hug her b/c that could have caused a major injury, it’s never good to hug while treadmilling.
hugs! :pleasantry:

Nope, not a hugger. Not with strangers…!! What you said about personal space makes perfect sense b/c that’s the way I feel! :hug:

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Oh these are so much easier to give.

:hug:

Leanne, you are so funny when you talk about these things.. I have to agree with you, at least in part. I hug my family when I see them and sometimes close friends and I am affectionate. But… when I go to church I just cringe when the pastor says, turn to your neighbor and give them a hug/handshake or whatever and introduce yourself. I was in church one evening a long time ago and they told us to do the hug thing. Well… my hug person happened to be some dirty, not too good smelling young man, who looked as if he may have been homeless or close to it. I did it but OMG… as hard as it was, that poor guy looked so happy to have had some human contact so I guess it was a good thing, for him. When I go to church I always try to sit somewhere not too crowded so I don’t have to “hug my neighbor”. Like you all said above… its just too personal and is reserved for family and close friends. Also, when people with small children that I know tell their kids to give so and so a kiss or a hug… I always tell them, please do not make them hug or kiss me because they shouldn’t have to unless they want to.

Sue

I’m a hugger but only with people I’m close to or have been close to.

:thanku:
I am the person to go to. I LOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEEEE hugs!!! Any kind of squeezes will do!! I can’t tell you what kind of hug to give. Or who you should and should not hug….? I can just say to feel the “vibe” from people. I guess if you feel the vibe from the person then hug. If you don’t- then don’t. And Imust say- you give FANTASTIC hugs, so share them!! :lovestruck:
xxoo

I am a toucher! I like to touch an arm or a hand to get my point across. And I do hug! I love to hug people and show them how much I care about them. But usually it is people I know by name and have a good vibe with! I would hug you if I met you at church!

:friends:

I hug someone only when “I” need a hug…(I’m KIDDing)
I am a hugger, but I won’t attack you, just to give you a hug. (so you’re safe) :friends:
Lo**

I’ve been accused of being standoffish, sullen, and cold – all by the same woman who I now share hugs AND CHEEK KISSES with… a woman from church who is a hugger whereas I am MOST DEFINITELY NOT. But we know each other very well now and I LUV her so… i hug her. But otherwise? No, no hugs, not even a fake air hug. I’ll actually turn the other direction if I think a hug is coming my way. and boy oh boy, you better not ever ever ever think that I’d hug someone of the opposite sex – no way no how. But I’m really really nice and sweet, I just don’t hug. :wave:

I only hug people I really love and trust. As luck would have it, my best friend — one of the two people in the world I love and trust the most– doesn’t like to be hug. We compromise. I try not to hug her so much; she tries to chill out about the wole touching thing.

It works for us. 🙂

I’m not a hug initiator, but I don’t mind huggers. As long as it’s somebody I at least know, not a stranger.

I have no advice to give. I am SO not a hugger. The only person I like to hug is my hubby. Anyone else is hugged out of a sense of duty or because I simply can’t get out of it. It’s not that I don’t love and appreciate people close to me – close friends and family. I just really like my personal space.

hmmmm. Sometimes I wonder if hugging is an aquired taste. I wasn’t brought up in a particularly close or hugging family at all, so as a child, I never really thought much about the whole hugging business.
That changed when I answered the front door once to greet an Aunt, Uncle and cousins, who had just come in from Kentucky. I was young and she hadn’t seen me in a long time… enveloped me in such a deep, warm hug that I still remember it to this day.
Found myself craving the warmth of that hug for years afterward.
Fortunately I married into a real huggy family… and my hub and I have brought our girls up to hug freely and often. We don’t hug total strangers at church, however! LOL!
If I sense that someone is reluctant to hug, then I’ll just shake their hand or grant them the space they need. We do try to be respectful of other people’s wishes!
So if it is an aqurired taste, maybe you’ve found yourself a new hobby? 😉

:hug: :giggle: :hug:

If I ever get to meet you the first thing I would want to do is HUG YOU! Yep, I am a hugger. And, if I love you I want to spread the good vibe around and that is by hugging.

finally my internet is working!! Well, since I was the prospective hugee… I’d have to say I would have been very surprised, knowing all about your phobia and personal space stuff. I don’t think I’ll turn you into a hugger at home or in a dome. not even on a plane or a train and especially not in a church. But if you feel like hugging someone maybe they need it. But you might want to let them know it’s coming so they don’t think aliens have taken over your body. I don’t remember laughing at you when you told me about your personal space. And, I most definitely like to point out that you have hugged me before. (The time I took you to the airport for Lisa’s wedding) Well I’ll leave you with this… you are a special person and I’m thankful your in my life :friends:

Darn, I used the wrong smiley. :hug: :hug:
:duh:

Hug only when you have the urge. Avoid squishy stranger hugs at all costs. I use the “step on the foot” method. As they are coming in for the hug, you act like you are going to reciprocate. Carefully step to them and place your foot over theirs – hard. It was cause a jolt and usually change the whole hugging mood. It works for me every time 🙂

Ditto on only hugging close friends and relatives! Although I slipped the other week when I saw a friend that I hadn’t seen in over two years. I gave a big ol’ hug to a non-hugger. I couldn’t help it! I was so happy to see her. We usually worked side by side at my old job (over five years). She is a great friend and I miss working with her!

Needless to say I did the “hug approach” and she stayed perfectly still with a fake grin on her face. She did attempt to return the hug with one hand (a very light brush on my arm). I have to say she was very tactful about it. Sometimes you forget who is a hugger and who is a non-hugger. I liked MommaK’s suggestion! LOL.

If you were to go to my Church (which is open every day and night of the week including Sundays) you would quickly get over the hugging phobia for my “church” is the milonga where we dance Argentine Tango. It is danced in a very close embrace and often with strangers. However, we change partners every 6-9 minutes so even an uncomfortable hug will not last very long. Unfortunately, neither do the heavenly ones:)

…er, it is spelled “acquired”, not the other two versions of the word that I used in my previous comment.
I have got to start using cntrl+ when I comment over here so that I can see what I’m typing!!! sorry

With my family, hugging is ok. With friends, I like it less, but I was in a sorority in college, and they’re ALL huggers, so I kind of learned to live with it. 🙂

I think it is rude to assume that I or anyone else wants a hug from someone they don’t know (Here is my preschool teacher disclaimer…unless you are under the age of 5!). I hug my friends and I hug my family and I hug my students freely. If I dont know you, I don’t want to hug you. Hugs to you, Leanne!

I hug friends. My church is not huggy, and thank goodness for that.

But here, :friends:

friends hug when they feel like it.

I like how kids hug–so hard they fall down to the floor.

:good: I feel like you do… will you be my friend? LOL I’m so glad I found your blog. I was reading this post, thinking, Yes… yes… YES… ! I have a few hug-er friends, and one I never got used to huging me — but she knew I always jumped back, so it became a joke where she would jump to hug me, and then jump back. lol Another friend of mine is very huggy, but for some reason, I’ve come to peace with her hugs and I even (gulp) offer one myself when she visits and I haven’t seen her for awhile.

And, I don’t go to church, but… is this, like, common? Everyone just hugging each other? And being told to hug the person next to you? I’m sorry, but that really seems creepy to me. What ever happened to personal space? I only hug *certain* family, and very, very close friends. My kids, of course, but that is different… those hugs are always just so warm and wonderful. No second thoughts there! But strangers? Um no…

All this to say… I hear you!

A non-hugging blogger,

Rachel

I don’t touch people period unless 1) i have to or 2) i cant help it.
Having to touch someone for me would be a case where I approach a fellow male who has extended his hand, then of course it would be awfully rude not to reciprocate. If I hug someone, it is someone I consider to be close and special. I remember though one particular day running into a friend who I hadn’t seen in nearly a year-and-a-half who caught me off guard and wanted a hug before we parted ways. This is a case where i will make an exception to my “no-touch” rule because I still consider this person to be a close friend. Hugging strangers though…NO!