MommaK, the goober, tagged me. I ran as fast as I could, but she’s faster than I am, even with her dancing shoes on. So here we go, more on me, because, well – it’s my blog and she said so. Oh yes, and a new haircut pic. There’s that, too. That ought to get you to stop looking at my cleavage.

I AM: On my first cup of jet black coffee this morning, and still trying to shake off the sleepies and remember the dream I had lastnight.
I WANT: To move. Really badly. But we can’t, until we have our home in listing condition. Getting there. Slowly but surely.
I WISH: There were more hours in a day to get everything done that I’d like to get done. I wish there were no distractions.
I HATE: That I allow people to use me, as I have – for the most part – an inability to say no. I tend to spread myself too thin, and wonder when I’m going to stop that.
 
I MISS: Something that I never had. Being a daddy’s girl. Having a dad that cares. One that actually calls on my birthday, or visits, or just gives a shit about me and my kids.

I FEAR: That my girls will lose their father and I will lose my husband far too soon. That would be my biggest fear.

I HEAR: Every single bird that chirps. It resonates in my head. It’s beautiful, and springy, and I like it.

I WONDER: If I’ll have enough time today to do the things I want to do.

I REGRET: I don’t regret much. Regrets kind of waste energy and time, which I’m trying to accumulate more of.

I AM NOT: All that and a bag of chips. I try to be, but I’m not.

I DANCE: Alone, usually. My girls won’t boogie yet, my husband doesn’t boogie at all.

I SING: A lot. All the time. Subconciously. Everywhere. Should I have been a singer?

I CRY: When I feel helpless. When I’m touched or reminded of a happy memory. When my girls do something pure and innocent and sweet.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: The friend I wish I could be.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: Something beautiful. Through everything I put my hands on, I try to make something beautiful, something that will be appreciated.

I WRITE: The way that I speak. If you’ve heard me talking, you’ve heard me writing. WYSIWYG.

I CONFUSE: A lot of people, and that’s okay. I’m an artist, artists tend to see things differently, and express feelings differently.

I NEED: Another cup of coffee. Be right back. Okay. Back. I need to win the lottery, so we can hire someone to do the work we need to do to this house to move, and also to buy the house I want for our family. It would be nice to not have to owe anyone anything.

I SHOULD: Play the lottery if I need to win it so bad. Can’t win if ya don’t play, eh?

I START: Chewing on my tongue as soon as my brush hits canvas. Today, I shall chew and chew, and chew. (See that big bird behind me?)

I FINISH: Most of the projects I start. I’m big on seeing things through, and I’m also big on seeing the results of hard work. It’s very gratifying.

I TAG: You, if you want to do it. You’re it! Let me know when you’re done and I’ll link you up.

Does your man give you “Man Pats”? I have to know. My sister and I had a long talk about Man Pats, and we were wondering if this is much more common among the opposite sex than we realized. Let me explain what they are:

• The Dog: The pat on the head and mussy hair action. Usually just one to two pats at a time with pauses inbetween that last for between 10-20 seconds.
• The Giddyup: The quick double pat on the thigh, butt, or back, that screams “giddy-up, woman!”
• The Citrus Squeeze: This doesn’t need explanation, does it?
• The Sway: Slow rocking from side to side during a hug.
• The Pelvic Sway: Just like The Sway, only with an Added Bonus!
• The Poker: Yes, the poker. You know what I’m talkin’ about.

Have we forgotten any? We’re sure that there are more, perhaps our men have an outdated version of the Man Pat Encyclopedia. Help a married woman out – are there New Fangled Pats available? Younger, more peppy versions of the Old Pats? Are there online tutorials? Your help in this matter would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks a lot, Shelli and SusiePie, you wierdos!

Rules
1. Go write (six, I think?) weird facts/things/etc. about yourself in my comment box and on your blog, then tag six more people!
2. Then leave a comment that says “You are tagged” in their comments telling them to read your blog.

• The second toe on my left foot is longer than my big toe. I’ve heard that means I’m supposed to be rich – whoever made that up is a big fat liarpants.
• I cannot have naked toenails. Iew iew iew, they’re ugly! I took a photograph of my naked toenails over the weekend, and I’m afraid to post it. I picture all of you simultaneously vomiting, or something.
• I get sweaty palms driving over bridges. They make me nervous.
• There are so many naturally strange things about me, I can’t think of anything unusually wierd for this thing.
• I turn a lot of things that I say to the girls into songs or rhymes. They think I’m crazy – and they’re right.
• I rarely go out. Seriously. I can’t be the only person who thinks people out in public are just rude, and should have their licenses revoked. I’d rather not subject myself to even one moron like this. I’ll stay right here in my house where it’s safe and I can order whatever I want online, thankyouverymuch!

There. I’m officially wierd x6.

This post is tag free – let me know if you do it though, and I’ll link you!

Cait collects birds. These are Audubon birds have official bird chirps when you squeeze ’em, and they’re neat. They don’t sell them just anywhere, we get them when we go to the zoo. Friday, she got a new one, a Lorikeet. Saturday morning, she arranged her collection near the front window and proceeded to call the Robins to the yard with her Robin. Once there were a dozen or so Robins hopping about the yard, she made a single call with the Red Tailed Hawk that scared them all away. Had she left my recollection of the series of events alone, she would have been a highly intelligent bird watcher. A little mean? Yes, but I really did make her out to be a 9 year old with a developed intellect about the matter.

Now, in the middle of bragging about my oh-so-smart-daughter, she corrects me. “There were only 4 Robins. And they were out in the street, Mom. I was trying to get them to come to the yard but they wouldn’t come, and then I tried the Hawk.”

My version is so much better. She was The Aussie Front Yard Birdwatcher. Put on your best Crocodile Hunter Voice, and follow me to the front window for a moment, would you?

“Shhhhh today, we’re gunna have a good look at the call of the Rawbin. The rawbin is a supah cool red-breasted buhrd (fluffs up chest) that eats wuhms by snatchin’ them up right out of the ground!

Here we’ve got a stuffed Rawbin from the Audobon collection of buhrds. They’ve spent hawrs and hawrs puhrfectin’ the call, and if you’ll have a lookie whall I squeeze, you’ll see Rawbins are really attracted to this stuffie. :squee!:

Ohhh lookie that! There’s dozens of ’em! Rawbins are just flocking to the yahd! Let’s give ‘er one more good squeeze. :squee!:

Wow, that’s incredibule! The rawbins are all ovah the yahd now, trying to figyah out where their mate is.

Now, we’re gunna pull a fast one on these Rawbins. See what I’ve got heah? This is a hawk. A Red Tailed Hawk to be exact, the most ferrrrocious rawbin-eating buhrd of prey on the block. Just LOOK at this red tail. Idn’t he a beaut? Aww now, have a lookie back out in the yahd, and pay close attention to the Rawbins.

I’m gonna give this Hawk’s butt a nice squeeze right about heah, and he’s gonna make a noise :sqwau: :squau: now LOOKIE! Wouldjya lookie that – see that? Did you see those birds scattah?

Phew, holy moly, that’s just incrEDable. Those birds heard that hawk and it sounded SO real, they just flew-way, jus like that. That was neat!”

Now see? My version is much bettah, aye mate?

Disclaimer: This may not make any sense to anyone but my sister. Not intended to offend anyone with a supah cool Australian voice.

MommaK and Monty are doin’ this thing, and it looks kinda neat, so I thought I’d join in. (ME? Join IN? It must be cool.)

Them’s the rules:
1. Choose a search engine (I use Google Images) and click on “Images”
2. Choose a 5 random blogfriends (or not random, your choice)
3. Think of a word that you feel best describes your blogfriend
4. Do an IMAGE SEARCH on that word
5. Pick the image that best fits your pal & post it.

Them’s the ones I picked:
1. Shelli : Caring
2. MommaK : Scintillating
3. Lisa : Cerebral
4. Plain Jane : Introspective
5. Mrs. Fun : Maternal

Everybody’s doing it. It’s kinda neat, and I’m kinda curious, so if you don’t mind, could you spare a minute for some Johari Word Association?

You can view the accumulated results here.

Here’s your chance to really get to know me! Below are a list of questions. Hopefully, the correct answers are obvious, but if not – then you’re just never going to know, ’cause I’m not tellin’! haha! Ready? Set? Go!

1. I love…
a. Having the ability to percieve someone elses intelligence through osmosis.
b. Being totally sarcastic and making people laugh, snort, or blow milk through their nostrils.

2. I try to…
a. Be mindful every moment of my abilities, and ask myself frequently if I’m meeting my own expectations.
b. Keep the laundry done, folded and put away every day.

3. I do…
a. Enjoy yacking it up with people while I’m working out at the YMCA.
b. Start huge projects everywhere I go, because I’m an overachiever and it’s FUN.

4. I do not…
a. Like it very much when people aren’t paying attention to me. ME! IT’S ME OVER HERE, SEE ME OVER HERE? I’M RIGHT HERE! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!
b. Regularly join groups/projects/endeavors that I didn’t think up.

5. I am…
a. A leader, sortof, kindof more off doing my own thing and if you like it, then hey! You can do it, too!
b. A follower, seeking out things to do because I. really. am. bored.

6. I have…
a. A hundred bottles of beer on the wall.
b. A hard time stopping my brain from thinking about so much stuff.

7. I am lacking…
a. The quality of being indirect and wishy-washy polite.
b. An old-fashioned can opener.

8. I’d like to…
a. Re-establish contact with my sperm-donor dad.
b. Choke the next person who asks me for freebies – charitable organizations, I will contact you if I have spare money/time/paintings to give away!