Cait collects birds. These are Audubon birds have official bird chirps when you squeeze ’em, and they’re neat. They don’t sell them just anywhere, we get them when we go to the zoo. Friday, she got a new one, a Lorikeet. Saturday morning, she arranged her collection near the front window and proceeded to call the Robins to the yard with her Robin. Once there were a dozen or so Robins hopping about the yard, she made a single call with the Red Tailed Hawk that scared them all away. Had she left my recollection of the series of events alone, she would have been a highly intelligent bird watcher. A little mean? Yes, but I really did make her out to be a 9 year old with a developed intellect about the matter.

Now, in the middle of bragging about my oh-so-smart-daughter, she corrects me. “There were only 4 Robins. And they were out in the street, Mom. I was trying to get them to come to the yard but they wouldn’t come, and then I tried the Hawk.”

My version is so much better. She was The Aussie Front Yard Birdwatcher. Put on your best Crocodile Hunter Voice, and follow me to the front window for a moment, would you?

“Shhhhh today, we’re gunna have a good look at the call of the Rawbin. The rawbin is a supah cool red-breasted buhrd (fluffs up chest) that eats wuhms by snatchin’ them up right out of the ground!

Here we’ve got a stuffed Rawbin from the Audobon collection of buhrds. They’ve spent hawrs and hawrs puhrfectin’ the call, and if you’ll have a lookie whall I squeeze, you’ll see Rawbins are really attracted to this stuffie. :squee!:

Ohhh lookie that! There’s dozens of ’em! Rawbins are just flocking to the yahd! Let’s give ‘er one more good squeeze. :squee!:

Wow, that’s incredibule! The rawbins are all ovah the yahd now, trying to figyah out where their mate is.

Now, we’re gunna pull a fast one on these Rawbins. See what I’ve got heah? This is a hawk. A Red Tailed Hawk to be exact, the most ferrrrocious rawbin-eating buhrd of prey on the block. Just LOOK at this red tail. Idn’t he a beaut? Aww now, have a lookie back out in the yahd, and pay close attention to the Rawbins.

I’m gonna give this Hawk’s butt a nice squeeze right about heah, and he’s gonna make a noise :sqwau: :squau: now LOOKIE! Wouldjya lookie that – see that? Did you see those birds scattah?

Phew, holy moly, that’s just incrEDable. Those birds heard that hawk and it sounded SO real, they just flew-way, jus like that. That was neat!”

Now see? My version is much bettah, aye mate?

Disclaimer: This may not make any sense to anyone but my sister. Not intended to offend anyone with a supah cool Australian voice.