…at 5:30 in the morning, the Princess was awakened by a small furry white creature. This beast obviously has no sense of timing, or perhaps just a very poor sense of timing, to dare squeak ever so softly but at such a high pitch at this time of day.
The Princess began to stir, and refused to accept that this white fuzzball was going to dominate the day. At the prompting of a gentle yet forceful reminder of the “jingle bell” collar, she realized that if she did not obey, the castle’s new floors would be destroyed. “Yes, ma’am,” she murmured. The Princess threw the covers back into a careless heap, sleepily made her way to the entrance and began to unbolt the castle doors.
The creature must have wanted to punish the Princess for her lack of expediency, as a gust of freezing air swept into her face and jolted her completely awake as she opened the doors. With what appeared to be a half grin on its face, this little white beast haughtily pranced out the door.
More alert now, the Princess made her way into the dining hall to search for a maid that could pour a warm morning brew for her and perhaps help her return to her slumber. Upon arrival into the main hall, she soon realized that the maid was off for the weekend and she was left to her own defenses. She stumbled over a plastic gadget that the Castle Munchkins had planted on the floor beside the brewmaster, nearly causing her to sail into the cabinets. When she regained her balance, she began the painful process of MMR, morning memory recovery.
The Castle Munchkins are still asleep. The brew requires a special combination of ingredients, could she remember so early in the day? Or should she begin to rummage through the maid’s things to try to find instructions?
Just then, the beast began to pelt the door with giant boulders, creating a wretched pounding noise loud enough to wake the neighboring Castles. The Princess was terrified! Would she ever be able to appease the beast enough that she would not be continually tortured? She hurried to the doors to beg forgiveness for her ignorance, jolted further awake by another slap in the face by the brisk breeze as she fell to one knee in front of the beast.
This brazen little fuzzball completely ignored her attempt at friendship and forgiveness, flitting quickly past her back into the Castle.
The Princess closed the doors, mumbled something to herself about the time of day, and returned to the dining hall for her morning brew. The creature, seemingly very pleased with its morning torture routine, found a quiet place to began plotting its next session.
About 5 years ago, I worked with a gal who was getting ready to move. Her husband had told her that he was planning on dragging the piano out the back door, break it up and turn it into firewood. Can you imagine? I told her I couldn’t let that happen, and hired a moving company to go get it and bring it to me. 
