This is my list of things NOT to do that directly relate to me and maybe you, but not definitely you. Consider that my disclaimer, in case – you know, you get offended or something.

Please do not assume that since I haven’t called or written, that I am not thinking about you. I am. I think about a thousand things a minute, and if I physically did everything I thought about, I would be dead.

Please do not assume that since I think about a thousand things a minute, that thinking about you is just one tiny little bleep in my day. That’s just a lie, and it’s all in your head.

Please do not believe for one second that I’m mad at you about anything. If I were, I’d have said something. That’s just how I am.

Please do not presume that you know what is in my heart. I wear a lot of feelings on my sleeve, I tuck a lot away when I’m hurt. I am deeper than I appear to be, more often than not.

Please do not tell a kadjillion people that I pissed you off/hurt your feelings or otherwise disappointed you. Tell me. I’m the one who needs to know. I’m the one who needs to fix it.

Please don’t think for a second that my “apparent lack of interest” is a lack of caring.

Please don’t hold grudges against me, or anyone else. That only makes it seem like you’re perfect and you never did anything wrong yourself – and you know that’s not true. I forgive, you forgive, we forget, we move forward. Life gives us a lot of chances to make things right. This time or next time, don’t be above anyone else. Things suck sometimes.

Please don’t ever tell someone they haven’t been as good to you as you have been to them. That’d be really crappy, and would make them think you’re keeping score, and that they’ll never live up to your expectations. You would most certainly do permanent damage to that person.

Please don’t ever think or say someone has used you. No one can use you without mutual consent prior to the event taking place. If you don’t want to give a piece of yourself to someone, don’t do it. And if you do, don’t bitch about it later, because they only used what you gave away, and vice versa.

I think that’s all I have to say about that right now.

A cardinal in my backyard on Saturday, 1/14/06 

Every year on my birthday, I like to think about what I’ve learned over the past year, to see if that old saying “Older and Wiser” is true. I try to learn lessons and allow events to better shape my character, and hopefully out of all of it I’m a little better of a person, and I like myself a little more for who I am and what I stand for. My list isn’t all-inclusive, but these are probably the most significant things that have moved me and got me thinking in a years time. Here are my deep thoughts from last year, of course all of those things still apply.

I’ve learned that being the best friend I know how to be has to be good enough. I can try to be better, but I have to try on my own terms – not someone elses. If someone doesn’t like the kind of friend I am, they can opt out. I can’t handle the pressure I put on myself for disappointing other people. I try. Damn hard. I’m not perfect – no one is.

I’ve learned not to expect anything from anyone. I will never, ever be disappointed – and I be delighted more often than not. Two thumbs up in that situation, every single time. Guaranteed.

I do enjoy doing things for other people, as much as I hate to admit it. I realized that I spend most of my days doing things for other people, in hopes that they can have the same kind of happiness I have.

I was disappointed to find out this year that I am NOT in control. Dammit. I have to let go, and trust God more.

I’ve learned that nothing was ever resolved by sitting around doing nothing and accepting things as they are. You can promote change by taking action, and being one hell of a determined person. I’m not talking about politics or world events, I’m talking about personal lives and events.

I actually have an interest in learning – and I thought I’d given that up when I graduated high school. I surprised myself with that one, teaching myself how to do things, researching so that I could learn and it would stick. No one is too old to learn something new.

In a nutshell, this past year was a lot about lessons learned through relationships with people. My family, friends, and people I’ve met through the internet.

I can’t wait to see what I learn over this next year!

I’m not one of those people who hides from the Big Bad Birthday Monster – yet.

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!! And I’m being spoiled today, which is the perfect gift. All I asked for was to feel special, and so far my lil 4 year old presented me with this:

All giggly about writing my name AND her name on the card. She picked it out, too! Of course! Mickey and a GREAT BIG HUG! That is so my little Chickeymonkey. She really wanted to get me a Princess Costume all for myself. She chose Princess Ariel, you know, the mermaid. Why? Because I would be PRETTY dressed as a mermaid! But alas, they shopped and they shopped and they could not find any adult-sized princess costumes. Bummer. I was really hoping to go out to dinner tonight topless with fins. I love this little figurine though – she’s sitting right in front of me now, wavin’ her little flag.

I love birthdays!! I’ll update with more pics of more fun stuff throughout the day.

*Update* My Willow Tree Collection has grown! Wow. It wasn’t too long ago I posted a pic of the three Willow Tree Angel’s that I have sitting on my piano. Since then, I received a few more, so it’s time for a new pic!

From left to right, the Angel of Hope, a birthday gifty from my dear friend Clara. The one sitting beside her is Serenity – also from Clara. My lil Catybug gave me the Mother & Daughter for Christmas. The centerpiece now, Loving Couple, from my hubby for my birthday :sniffles: Then the Bug came home from a sleepover a little while ago and I opened up Angel of the Heart, awwww. More sniffles. The Angel of Protection sitting beside her is from my bestest bud from forever ago, Paige – and then to the far right is Thinking of You, a slight-post Christmas gifty from my sweetiepah girlfriend Erikie.

All of the sudden, I’ve got a full blown collection. It’s beautiful, I can’t wait to see them tonight when the lights are out and they’re glowing just from the piano light! I’m so lucky – what wonderful friends and family I have. Thank you so much for the birthday wishes!! I still have to do my “lessons learned” list, too. (I’ll get to that!)

*Update* Adding a new piece, the Angel of Friendship from our friends down the street. You guys – you’re making me all sappy over here today!!!

*Update* The dinner was MmmMMMM Good! We had Red Lobster, and frankly there’s NO nutrition information to be found for what we ate. My guess is if the nutrition information doesn’t exist, it’s really, really bad for you. I had a big old strawberry margarita, too. Whee! And then, my wonderful family who was determined to make me feel special today, followed through very well with my last minute birthday request (which was “I want to laugh on my birthday!”), they lit a bunch of candles for this nummy cake, sang Happy Birthday to me, and laughed with me as I blew out re-igniting candles…several times!

Thank you all for sharing my birthday with me!! It’s been amazing day, and I truly feel blessed with friends and family!!

(from last progress update… “This is an 11×14 oil painting, a custom dog portrait – he’s a black poodle…”)

Here’s the first layer of Joey’s fur. His eyes, nose and mouth are done, although I’ll probably add a smidge more shine to his teeth and tongue. I’m estimating about 3-4 more layers of paint for the fur before he’s completed, but I’ll paint that wet-in-wet and finish his portrait up tomorrow.

View my Custom Dog Portrait category to watch the painting as it has progressed.

It’s 2006! YAHOO!
This is going to be an awesome year, can ya feel it?!

That pretty head up there is my last pic of 2005, I braided Chickeymonkey’s hair lastnight and we all snuggled in the New Year on the couch watching You’ve Got Mail and Sleepless in Seattle. Catybug finally made it ’til midnight, too!

So now that I’ve got this clean slate and all, I’m determined to maintain focus – complete all of my projects, kick some serious butt this year artistically, through stylesheets and graphic design, and above all else, with my treadmill! I am nearly finished with the new blog design, and will do my best to go live today, if not tomorrow. Part of the learning curve, you know, making sure things validate in two different browsers. Fun stuff, that is! I’ve already lost 4.5 lbs (as of yesterday), and have some amazing recipes and things to share in the new digs!

I hope you woke up rejuvinated, and you’re just as energetic and ready to go this year as I am!

My Mom tells me that according to her mom (my Gramma), when Doves are ever-present in your surroundings it is a sign of a peaceful home. Our Mourning Doves are huddled close together beneath our feeders, such a pretty thing to see when your eyes are still tired first thing in the morning.

I love that when I see these birds, I’m reminded of my Gramma. It got me curious about “how old sayings go…” Do you have a favorite old saying?

As a sidenote; you guys kicked some serious bloghopping bootie yesterday! My eyes fell out of my head at some point, and my hubby had to pick them up, clean ’em off and pop ’em back in for me. It was really overwhelming, and I hope I can get to everyone who left their links at some point this weekend! I’ll be coding the weight loss blog design today, and hopefully have it up tomorrow (crossing my fingers), and this weekend I’ll be finishing up Joey’s portrait.

I’m working on stuff over here, so while I’m off neglecting my blog please entertain yourselves by thumbing through some of my Captionable Critters and see if you can’t find a voice for them.

You could also go here: Serenescreen.com and download their (free) aquarium screensaver. I’ve never seen one so realistic! It rocks!

My Friday has to be better than My Thursday. First, our Cardinal playing peekaboo out back, he’s just candy. Totally unrelated to yesterdays events.

Second, I have a question. Let’s say you get a gift, from someone you didn’t expect a gift from, someone you never talk to or even see. Let’s say you dream about the gift and how not right it feels to even accept it. What do you do?

Third, while all of my good friends were off bloghopping the TT, I was combating a hacker in my system. Here’s how it went: Leanne visits first blog left in comments. She opens the window, reads Thirteen Things, in the process the open window has gone inactive for no apparent reason 3 times. She has to click the window to activate it, then scroll. Opening comments, the comment page also went inactive several times, as though something is running in the foreground, but nothing is running in the foreground. She begins typing a comment, and the words start looking lkei tish because the cursor is being magically repositioned to the space before the letter she just typed. Thinking the blog she was visiting was cursed, she tries another TT. Same thing.

As you can see from my list of Thirteen’s I visited yesterday, I didn’t get far before I was cussing my fool head off and running Panda Activescan Pro on all three of the puters on our network, spending hours cleaning and eliminating.

Keep reading »

(from last progress update… “This is an 11×14 oil painting, a custom dog portrait – he’s a black poodle. I’ll post another progress when I complete his underpainting.”)

This is Joey’s completed underpainting. This is the base from which I’ll paint his fur, deepen and brighten his eyes and mouth, and give his coat a nice soft shine.

View my Custom Dog Portrait category to watch the painting as it progresses.