I’ve given a lot of thought to what friendship means to me lately, and this is how I see it.
I am fortunate enough to have some very, very fabulous, warm, caring, thoughtful people in my life. Some friends I talk to a couple of times a year, some a couple of times a month, some a couple of times a week, and some a couple of times a day. I think this is very normal, healthy even! I’m not necessarily closer to those who I talk to less frequently, I love my friends, am grateful for them and think about them very often.
I have shortcomings, yes. I’m very aware of them, and do try my best to be the friend to others that they are to me.
I am fairly certain that my friends know how much I love them. How much I appreciate them. That if I knew how to do more or be better, I would, and that I’m slowly but surely making progress. I care, and they know that. I cry with them, I worry with them, and even if I don’t say it often enough, I love them so much I would move heaven and earth for them if I could.
I relate things to things I’ve been through. I think a lot of us do that, and I think that’s healthy too. I believe that’s what makes friends close, similar experiences like that. When you can relate to someone and what they’ve been through or what they’re going through, you form a bond. I believe that the truest form of friendship is to understand the other person enough to know that they are who they are, and love them because of that.
I learned a long time ago that things aren’t going to go my way, that friendships are each different, unique, and totally priceless. Each person has qualities that are so different from mine and I love that about each of my friends. I learn from them, my life is enriched by their outlook, by their responses, by their friendship. I may not agree with them all the time, and I love that too. It is all a learning experience, a wonderful one at that.
I have learned over the last couple of years that (take note, this comes from a professed conservative!) differences make the world go round. We click with people because of our similarities, sure. But it is our differences that trigger learning, teach us how to truly love without judgement, and show us how to truly behave in a way that accepts differences with (more) open arms. You can have your opinion, and I can have mine, and we can be friends anyway because I love you and respect you as an individual.
I think about friendship a lot. Why? Because I’d love to be a better friend. At the same time, I’d like it very much if the people I loved knew I loved them, and I’d love it even more if they accepted me for who I am and how I know to be a friend to them. It may not be perfect, and I may not be what you expect, and I may never get to my e-mail, I might not call you back in 20 minutes, I may even ignore the phone if I’m painting.
That doesn’t mean I love you any less, that just means that I have a life too, that I’m an individual, an odd artsy-fartsy individual, with feelings and lots of love and caring that I show better through paintings and creativity than any other medium on the face of the planet.
We all have our own ways of showing people we care. I just wanted to spill my guts about this right now, while it’s fresh on my mind.
This face. When this face looks at you and proclaims “I’m growing! RIGHT NOW!” How can you not believe it?
